Forgiveness

I have been trying to desperately when I first wake up in the morning to seek God first before I do anything. At times though I fail because my body is weak, and when I do not get enough sleep it can be a real struggle to wake up right when my alarm sounds in the early morning. I found myself this morning in that struggle. After being up until 0100 hours (1:00 AM to you common folk), and needing to leave my house by 0900 to get to church a hour away on time, I neglected to wake up early and spend some first time with God.

I am thankful for the hour drive though to church because it gives me time to seek God as I am driving. Now I believe in being led by the Spirit, but while I am driving a car it would behoove me to split my attention on God and traffic. So there is no comparison between being able to kneel in my private place with no distractions other than the sounds of my house, and devote my full attention to God. However, there are times you just need to seek God right where you are at even with all of life's distractions.

Before pulling out of my garage this morning, I shot a quick video for Facebook about forgiveness. I quoted Book of Matthew 5:23-25 about ensuring you seek reconciliation with someone who has something against you, or you against them. The verse reads:

23. "So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24. leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. 25. When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly (NLT)."

God wants us to forgive others, and He wants us to seek forgiveness from others. Sometimes that forgiveness does not come right away from others, but we need to be quick to offer forgiveness, or make amends. Yes, even when we have been hurt by that person we should seek forgiveness.

After I posted that video, I was praying to God while driving to church. Suddenly, I really could not come up with the words to say to God because I got stuck on forgiving others. See, here I was presenting my "gifts", or prayers to God and yet He started talking to me about forgiving my soon-to-be-ex-wife.

Yes, I am hurt she left me. Yes, I am hurt she does not want to work this marriage out and instead sought a divorce lawyer right away. I can take that hurt and continue to be angry as I have to the point where I can barely stand to be around her when we exchange our son, or I can show the same love that God has shown to me and apologize to her, tell her I forgive her, and tell her we need to move on for our son's sake.

I fought a few minutes, resisting texting to her and telling her I forgave her. Yet God was reminding me of what I just posted earlier that day on Facebook about letting go of grudges, forgiving others, seek amends with our enemies. As I said on the video, we should forgive others despite the hurt the hurt they have caused us because we seek God to forgive us despite the hurt we have caused Him.

I drove in silence for a few more minutes before sending a message to her. Then I left it in God's hands.

That's all we can do. Sometimes, we just need to reach out to them and let them know they are forgiven and then leave it in God's hands to work on our enemy, our adversary. Forgiveness does not always mean that person can come back in our lives, but the grudge that had burdened our hearts can now leave our lives so we may present ourselves to God without fault.

The love we show towards others is important to God. After all, this is why it is written to "love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.' And, 'Love your neighbor as yourself,'" (Deut 6:5; Lev 19:18). Our brethren are our neighbors, and the same mercy we want from God upon us we need to show to others. This issue is so important to God that He even instructs us to cease praying to Him until we have made peace with our neighbors.

I know I am not the only one who has been hurt by someone we thought was close to us like a brother. Maybe a friend, a family member, or even a spouse hurt us. Yet we are called to show mercy because we would want mercy from others, and we seek it from God.

By the way, after I sent that text I was able to pray to God with peace in my heart and without hesitation. Because I had read Matthew 5:23-25, God silenced me and I listened to His Word, and after fulfilling His Word, I was able to come back and continue praying to God the rest of the way to church.