Trail Blazer

God has your life trail already blazed—cleared.  Did you know that?

I was reminded of His path as I was hiking in Robbers Cave State Park (RCSP) in Oklahoma.  God tells us in Jeremiah 9:11 that He knows the plans—the path He has for us.  The path won’t lead to destruction but rather to prosperity in the Lord.  Yet so often we stray off God’s path.

Why is that?  Are we in a hurry and can’t wait on God to lead us?  Do we think we are God and can do it all ourselves?  I bet we might think we can blaze our own trail.

I went down a path at the park I thought was a trail.  It was clear, looked like it had been walked on, and so I hiked down it for nearly 0.5 miles (I was tracking my distance on my Fitbit device) before realizing it was not a trail.  It had led me along some uneven and rocky terrain, and the result was me walking straight to the end where a large coniferous tree blocked my way forward, there was a steep downward slope to the lake on my left, and a large upward slope to the rocky cliffs on my right.  My only course of action was to turn around, climb up the rocky cliffs on my right, and reorient.  Once I came out of the rubble and looked around, I noticed a marker some 200 meters (thank God for Army land navigation teaching me meters instead of feet) to my left indicating the start of a proved and tried trail.  Blue/red/yellow markers led the way throughout the numerous trails within Robbers Cave State Park.

Proverbs 14:12 tells us that there is a way—a path—that appears right, but in the end, leads to death.  I took a chance climbing up and down those bluffs being unscathed by the detour, but I could have just as easily been hurt.  In our spiritual walk; however, there is no luck.  We stray off the path God has trail blazed for us, we head to our own destruction.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:13-14, “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.  Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it (NKJV).”  The first path I took was broad, and it seemed like the way to go.  However, it wasn’t marked and therefore was not the correct path for me to take.

God has marked the path for us.  He sent Jesus to blaze our trail.  Jesus tells His disciples in John 14:6 that He [Jesus] is the way.  Jesus is the marker that tells us we are on the right path.  We must follow Him on our journey of life just as surely as we must follow the trail markers if we are to find our way to what God has for us.

However, just because we are following Jesus does not mean the trail will be smooth.  While hiking on even the marked trails at RCSP, I came across uneven terrain, loose rocky steps, narrow twists and turns, and sloped surfaces both up and down.  I sweated as my body labored hiking these trails while carrying the burden of my rucksack on my back.  The difference between this trail versus the one I attempted was at least I knew where I was going this time, and it made the trail less dangerous for me than the one I made up.  So then is our Christian walk the same.  Our lives will still be difficult—trying at times; however, if we are following God and seeking Jesus daily, the burden is decreased.

There were also times the painted markers were hard to see.  The sun was in my eyes, some of the paint had faded, or other natural objects obscured the markers from being viewed directly.  A few times I still went off the marked trail because I thought I was following the right path only to no longer see the guides.  I had to circle back around to find the point I had walked off the actual trail.  Sometimes even as we are trying to keep our eyes on Jesus, the world can trick us.  We think we are doing what God wants us to do, but we come to find out we had strayed from our walk with Him.  We must turn around and get back on the right trail.

What I learned that day from hiking along those trails was to slow down, make sure I was on the right path, and trust in the markers to lead me.  Who are you trusting today?  Is it Jesus?  If not, then you are lost and need to come back.  God has blazed a trail for us, Jesus is our guide, and we need to follow Him in this journey we call life.

By the way, if I had taken the time at the start of my hike to look around, there was a trail marker to the left of me which would have led me down those rocky cliffs, alongside that lake, around it, and to the area I was wanting to find in the first place.  See what happens when we are in too much of a hurry and try to do things our way?

Be Strong and Courageous-My Story

I struggled to write this because I wasn't sure of first what all I should share, or how much of it to share.  I could tell you all of how I grew up around alcoholics and drug users.  I could share about my two failed marriages.  There are so many mistakes I have made in my life that I could share, and if I was only telling my story I would do that.  However, this is a story of how God delivered me and that is the story I want to share.

For a long time, ever since I was a child, I have felt afraid and inadequate.  My fear was born from seeing the transformation of my mother caused by alcohol.  She was beautiful, intelligent, and kind when sober; however, when drunk she was ugly, mean, cruel, and angry.  I became afraid of her after I witnessed her beating my older sister Crystal one night in a drunken rage.  I ran into my bedroom and hid under my blankets.  Ever since that night, I have nightmares I'm hiding in that bed in fear my mother would bust through my door to hurt me.  As a child, I would wake up screaming.  As an adult, I still have these dreams-in fact, I had the dream just a few weeks ago-but I am able to wake myself up before my mother grabs me.

I felt inadequate because my mother was very overprotective of me, and any sport I tried she didn't approve because she told me I would get hurt.  My older sister would tell me I was too weak to play.  There was no father figure in my life.  My mother had left him when I was two or three.  I never got to meet him, and up until late 2012, I never knew what he looked like.  My mother cut his image out of any pictures she had, and I wasn't allowed to ask about him.  If I persisted, my mother would tell me he was abusive to her, he was a monster, and I had best hope I didn't wind up like him.  Whenever I would lose my temper, my mother and sister would tell me I was acting just like him.

I know God desires us from our beginning, but I truly believe He started pursuing me when I was fifteen or sixteen.  I say this because God led me to the Scroggs family who were instrumental in helping me to change the direction of my life.  God can work through anyone and/or any situation, and it can start with something as simple as John offering a teenager a ride to their early morning high school marching band rehearsals.  God can work through the words spoken one morning by Sister Judy to a teenager who was unsure about going to church.  One morning as I waited for John to get ready (which often took a long time), Sister Judy must have known how uneasy I felt about the church they pastored.  That early morning as I was eating breakfast, she looked at me and said, "Josh, I want to invite you to church, and I would love for you to come.  However, I can't force you, and I want you to know that no matter what you decide you'll always be welcomed into our home, I'll always feed you, and John will still give you a ride to school." 

Looking back now I can see Jesus was speaking through her.  That was unconditional love.  It was a type of love I had not been shown before.  So I started going to church soon after, but I never truly surrendered to God.  I thought just being in church and being around the Scroggs family was enough, and as long as I surrounded myself with people like them I could fake the funk-so to speak.  Without true surrender to God, all that fear and inadequacy remained until I started attending church here and fully surrendered.  However, I believe God had laid a foundation for me when I was 16, and looking back as I was writing this testimony, I believe the words Sister Judy that morning spoke to me was God's message.  He wouldn't force me to come to Him.  I would need to make that choice myself, but when I did make that choice God would be there.

I continued to fake my salvation, or let's say I was religious but not spiritual-there's a difference.  When I met my first wife and found out her family were Christians, I thought I had found my new "Scroggs" family to be with.  However, some day our falseness will be found out, and though we can fool some people, we can't fool God.  My first marriage ended because I had an affair while stationed in the Army away from everyone I relied on for my "walk with Christ".  In truth, I never was on that walk.

Being the stubborn person I can be at times, I blamed God for my marriage with Kelly ending, and if He had not been with me then, I wouldn't definitely be with Him now.  I still claimed I was a Christian when asked, especially when Facebook became a "thing", but I really wasn't.  I was more interested in satisfying my own desires.

My passions are what got me with Jennifer, my soon-to-be-second-ex-wife.  Our relationship was born on a bed of passion and a false hope of validation.  Jennifer promised me she would take care of me and I could trust her with anything.  So I told her about the abuse I had endured as a child.  I trusted her with things I never even told my first wife nor many of my friends.  I thought I could trust Jennifer and feel safe and adequate.  Instead, for the last four years I felt anything but what I needed.  There were times Jennifer would call me by my mom's name saying I was just like her as my mother and sister would do to me in relation to my father.  All the confidence I had gained from the Army and being on my own was stripped bare.  When we separated, it was because I refused to back down from a decision I had made concerning my daughter.

So when I started attending church here, it was because I knew Ben, and I felt like I needed to get back to where I had first felt God but this time not ignore Him.  I wanted to be challenged to accept the real God and not the God based on other's salvation.  In other words, I knew I needed to choose God.  So that morning when I stepped forward at Ben's encouragement, it was God pushing me forward.  He had never stopped pursuing me though I had ignored Him for over twenty years.

Complete acceptance of Jesus as my Savior does not mean all that fear and feelings of inadequacy were gone.  The walk with God is a continual process.  Each day we have to seek God and ask Him to search us and clean us.  We have to let go of the past mistakes and our sins of the past.  We have to stop being afraid of what others think, and we must realize that God never finds us inadequate.

I want to end this story with a story from the Bible.  So if you'll indulge me, I'd like to share an "Extended Edition" of the Book of Joshua.  Whenever I start feeling inadequate or fearful, I read the first nine verses of the first chapter of Joshua.  As I'm reading it, I like to imagine there must have been some doubt in Joshua's mind.  I mean think about it-Joshua was replacing Moses.  Moses, who talked to God as His Spirit burned like fire around a bush.  Moses, who God used to cause trouble for Pharaoh and led the Israelites out of Egypt.  I wonder if Joshua was thinking, "Who am I to replace Moses?"  Not only that, but I wonder if Joshua worried about what all they had been through during those forty years of wandering in the wilderness.  Was he fretting about the mistakes they had made?

I ask myself this because three times God reassured Joshua of his standing with God, and encouraged Joshua to not be afraid.  Verse 5, God tells Joshua, "No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you.  I will not leave nor forsake you."  Verse 6, "Be strong and of good courage."  God repeats this in verse 7 saying, "Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you."  Finally, in verse 9 God once again states, "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

I have made many mistakes in my life, and I have played the "religious Christian", and yes I have been hurt by others.  However, God says that is all in the past-Egypt is behind me-and all I need to do is follow God; move forward towards that which God has prepared for me.  Be strong, be courageous; because God is just as much with us as He has been with all those great people in the Bible.  All it takes is a choice to not be afraid, to accept God's adequate view of you, and as my main man Joshua said in Chapter 24, Verse 15, "Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.  But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."