2017 in Review

It has been a long while since I have written in my blog. To those few who read it I do apologize. Life has a way of making us busy. So busy in fact we tend to neglect our hobbies.

I thought with Christmas coming up and right behind it the end of 2017, I would write my final reflections concerning this past year. It's an exercise in ego perhaps but I know some people like these.

2017 found me in a better place than I was in 2016. Gone were the hurts from my marriage separation in May of 2016, and in its place was the realization that not only was I going to be just fine as a single man, not only was I going to be great as a single father, but I was going to be able to love again.

In August of this year, I started dating again. I started with many of trepidations. For one, I am still not legally divorced. I often wonder if I should be dating someone when I am still legally bound to someone else. I wonder if God's grace extends to me in this area? My pastor always tells us to work out our own salvation and so I continue doing that in this area.

My girlfriend is wonderful though. She loves me unconditionally. We have already had so much fun and happy moments together. In the five months we have been together, she has validated me more as a man than my second wife ever did in the five short years we were together. My girlfriend is not perfect but she's close enough to perfect for me (to quote the great country band Alabama). She has her views I don't agree with, and vice versa, but we find ways to discuss it without turning it into an argument.

I still have fears, and I am still defensive, but each day with her I am learning to let my guard down. Perhaps she is too.

Besides a new love interest, I continue to be proud father to three awesome kids. My oldest child and only daughter has continued to impressed me with her intelligence, her discipline, hard work, and goal driven persona. Not to mention her passion for all things nerdy like her father. She continues to excel in her studies and music, and her artwork continues to impress me.

My second child and oldest son excels as well. He is in band playing the saxophone, and he is taking a real interest in it. Typically, my oldest son is very laid back about things so it's hard to gauge what he is taking seriously or not. However, this past year he is maturing more and more, and though not as outgoing as my daughter, he has shown an intelligence of his own in the things he cares about. This past year has seen him take an interest in not only music but also science, particularly marine biology. His jokes continue to grow more funny as well. He has a great sense of humor.

Then there is my youngest son, my 4-year-old mini-Hulk who is full of energy, stubborn as a mule, and too tough for his own good. At his young age, he can already call out the different vehicles by name as we pass them on the highway. He knows the colors of the traffic lights, knows the sun rises in the East and sets in the West (I just taught him that a few weeks ago), and can recite and recognize the alphabet and count to 20. So far, the separation between his mother and I hasn't been too bad for him. I hope and pray he continues to adjust well to it.

I also decided to return to college and finish my bachelor's degree. I am nine classes away from it. After I complete the degree in Spring 2019, I will start pursuing my Master's Degree in Occupational Therapy. It's time to complete what I intended to once I got out of the Army in 2009.

So many changes in my life this past year but what hasn't changed is my love for God. I feel at times I have been distracted this past year but I keep trying to follow Him no matter what happens. I slip and I fall but I keep getting back up.

As 2018 comes around the corner, I plan on paying off my minor debts as I start saving up for my kids' education, and also to start making extra payments on my house. True slavery is not being forced to work. It's being in debt to creditors. I start college again in January and I hope to finalize this divorce so I can move on. The next few years will be busy for me but it will be well worth it in the end.

As I finish this up allow me to offer this bit of advice:

Life is what YOU make of it. It comes down to your choices, not circumstances. Stop blaming your skin color, circumstances, environment, etc. Instead, own up to your own life and make the choices necessary to propel yourself forward. Stop diving backwards into the drowning cesspool of victimization. Keep moving forward.